Underneath this flabby exterior is an enormous lack of character.

Happiness isn't something you experience; it's something you remember.

The only difference between the Democrats and the Republicans is that the Democrats allow the poor to be corrupt, too.

What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left.

So little time and so little to do.

I am no more humble than my talents require.

There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line.

When you give up drinking, you have to deal with that wonderful personality that started you drinking in the first place.

A dollar saved is a quarter earned.

I envy people who drink. At least they have something to blame everything on.