I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest..

Once again decent citizens will be able to enter this house of worship, kneel down in front of a nearly-naked man hanging from a wooden apparatus by ….

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants..

Plant trees. They give us two of the most crucial elements for our survival: oxygen and books..

The Baptists believe in The Right to Life before you're born. They also believe in Life After Death, but that is a privilege and you have to earn it ….

I think it's time to stop carping on the blunders of the President and give him some credit for creativity. I mean, where do you even FIND a Jewish h….

The past actually happened. History is what someone took the time to write down..

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you..

Saint George killed the last dragon, and he was called a hero for it. I've never seen a dragon, and I wish he would have left at least one. Saint Pat….

I never joined, but I used to go to church now and then. I liked it, because they always passed out plates of money at the end..

The very fact that the jaguar can become extinct while the Pekingese survives indicates to me that someone hasn't thought this thing through..

Enjoy every minute. There's plenty of time to be dead..

There are a billion people in China. It's not easy to be an individual in a crowd of more than a billion people. Think of it. More than a billion peo….

The Bible says, 'The truth shall make you free.' But let's not forget it was Spiro Agnew who said that a good lie will keep you out of jail in the fi….

You know, you look at the chaos in the conservative camp right now, it's only too tempting to blame it all on pot. But in fact, the Reagan revolution….

The Baptists' basic theology is that if you hold someone under water long enough, he'll come around to your way of thinking. It's a ritual known as '….

I'm not an athiest. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me..

Any good history book is mainly just a long list of mistakes, complete with names and dates. It's very embarrassing..

A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a law….

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait..

I don't know whether you have any rights before you're born. All I know is that being born again doesn't entitle you to twice as many..