Damn referees, I'll miss them less than anybody..

Coaches who shoot par in the summer are the guys I want on my schedule in the winter..

Hell no. When I die I want to be sick..

You mean in the state?.

You always catch the wrong players..

I don't understand these new coaches who don't drink. What do they do when they get beat?.

Doctors bury their mistakes, but mine are still on scholarship..

I don't have any tricky plays. I'd rather have tricky players..

You may be big in New York, but in Walters, Oklahoma, you're nobody..

They wanted to buy out my contract, but I couldn't make change for a $20, so they had to let me stay..

Finish last in your league and they call you idiot. Finish last in medical school and they call you doctor..

If I make a set of rules, then a guy goes out and steals an airplane. He comes back and says, 'It wasn't in the rules.'.

I'd rather be a football coach. That way you only lose eleven games a year..

We did have three go to the YMCA..

The trouble with retirement is that you never get a day off..