I go to sleep thinking about my kids being spoiled and I wake up thinking about it..

I guess I was maybe in little league baseball as far as I wanted to be good at that. But school, I certainly wasn't the best at that. But comedy thin….

One night I couldn't sleep. It was like 2:00 in the morning. I was thinking, 'What can I do?' I'm watching TV. I'm like, 'Let me do something else.' ….

I never had a speech from my father 'this is what you must do or shouldn't do' but I just learned to be led by example. My father wasn't perfect..

Like every other rich asshole, I have a cook and he's in my trailer making food all the time..

I still like some of the stuff, skateboarding. Just stupid things..

In one day, I have times where I'm feeling great, I feel like I love my life, and then 2:30 rolls around and I'm the angriest man alive. My wife sees….

I enjoy doing all different types of movies even though I am the most comfortable with comedy..

The problem with me, as far as getting married and having a family, is that my comedy is so important to me. So I don't know if I'll ever be as good ….

My mother says to me, when I'm making a new movie, she says, "Oh, is Steve Buscemi in it?" I'd say, "Yeah." And she, "Oh, then it's going to be a goo….

I immediately said yes for one reason and one reason only....Netflix rhymes with Wet Chicks..

Mama says that, happiness is from magic rays of sunshine that come down when you're feeling blue..

I've always just had troubles with my family because I'm psychotic. It had nothing to do with that..

Girls are soft and pretty..

Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things..

I had my moments of being humiliated, and then I had moments of doing something humiliating. I'm glad I lived out both roles..

When you're shooting a movie you are away from home most of the time. It's an amazing thing that we get to do what we get to do, but you definitely a….

My father used to wear the same pants for like a week..

He has a 5 year plan... What is it, don't die?.

I kinda feel like an idiot sometimes. Although I am an idiot, so it kinda works out..

So let me do the dishes in our kitchen sink, put you to bed when youve had too much to drink. Oh, it could be so nice to grow old with you, I wanna g….