My wife went off with Elvis..

You can play some schlock like New Kids On the Block..

It was difficult to get into my friends' rock bands when I was a teenager. They somehow didn't see the need for an accordion player. That's when I re….

I think my chances of ever making it into the Rock & Roll Hall Of Fame are about as good as Milli Vanilli’s..

As a wise man once said, “April Fools Day is for amateurs. You NEVER need an excuse to mess with people's heads.”.

You slammed my face down on the barbecue grill, now my scars are all healing, but my heart never will..

It doesn't take a military genius to see we'll all be crispy critters after World War III..

I mean, I hate to gloat, but I'm extremely satisfied with my position in life and the way things have worked out for me..

I enjoy all kinds of music. But it is kind of strange when I do parodies, instead of setting up drums and guitar amps..

I make charts of songs that are good candidates, good targets, so to speak. Then I try to come up with ideas for parodies. And 99% of those ideas are….

You make me wanna staple bagels to my face, then remove them with a pitchfork..

My own personal tastes don't really have an effect on whether song is a parody target or not. But having said that, I try to pick songs that I actual….

I suppose I had my rock star fantasies while I was singing into my hairbrush in the bathroom mirror, but I never really consciously said, 'OK, this i….

I'm very analytical, I'm very precise..

I'd like to be able to be more topical and timely and more of-the-moment and I think the way to do that is, instead of waiting until I have twelve so….

I can bend paper clips into the shapes of small animals..

He put Ben Gay inside my jock strap and filled my tooth paste tube up with glue..

Right now I'm listening to a lot of Top 40 music, because THAT'S MY JOB..

I don't want to pooh-pooh modern pop. I appreciate that as well, but my personal favorite kind of music is guitar-based rock. I like grunge and garag….

So that's why one of my rules of parody writing is that it's gotta be funny regardless of whether you know the source material. It has to work on its….

I'll bet every great thinker and leader we've got Could see all kinds of things other people could not! So then why get upset if somebody like me Tri….