You are not special. There is no plan for you. Nothing happens for a reason. Just try not to die and shut up..

It always seems that people who bring nothing to the table take the most from it..

Hearing the faraway sounds of children at recess makes me understand that I am no longer life's main character..

The internet makes everything not enough..

If you say you had a zen moment, you already didn't..

It's always dangerous when boring people think they're creative..

Just because you're an avid reader doesn't mean you're an avid understander..

Everyone's the anti-Teddy Roosevelt. Speak loudly and carry a brittle twig..

There's something great about terrible westerns. They look like gay dancers and bad, overwrought dialogue and overacting, black and white sped up hor….

His lie ability is an asset.

When I make fun of you, I strike just the right note. When you make fun of me, you're an incredibly ungrateful asshole and you know why..