Today just might be the best day to start seriously thinking about quitting smoking..

At 83, George Bernard Shaw's mind was perhaps not quite as good as it used to be, but it was still better than anyone else's..

I count it a high honor to belong to a profession in which the good men write every paragraph, every sentence, every line, as lovingly as any Addison….

To all things clergic I am allergic..

Many of us spend half of our time wishing for things we could have if we didn't spend half our time wishing..

The scenery in the play was beautiful, but the actors got in front of it..

The two oldest professions in the world — ruined by amateurs..

One listens to one's lawyer prattle on as long as one can stand it and then signs where indicated..

All the things I really like to do are either illegal, immoral, or fattening..

I'm tired of hearing it said that democracy doesn't work. Of course it doesn't work. We are supposed to work it..

The English have an extraordinary ability for flying into a great calm..

Mrs. Patrick Cambell is an aged British battleship sinking rapidly and firing every available gun on her rescuers..

There's absolutely nothing wrong with Oscar Levant that a miracle can't fix..

You haven't lived until you died in New York..

She was like a sinking ship firing on the rescuers..

Nothing risque, nothing gained..

All the things I really like to do are either immoral, illegal or fattening..

It was Mrs. Campbell, for instance, who, on a celebrated occasion, threw her companion into a flurry by describing her recent marriage as "the deep, ….

A hick town is one where there is no place to go where you shouldn't go..

Reading Proust is like bathing in someone else's dirty water..

It comes from the likes of you! Take what you can get! Grab the chances as they come along! Act in hallways! Sing in doorways! Dance in cellars!.