There's a part of me that still hates everything, and my natural view default setting is still very cynical and dark.

Everyone I used to work with is still alive and can afford expensive lawyers..

My name is Alexei Yuri Gagarin Siege of Stalingrad Glorious Five Year Plan Sputnik Tractor Moscow Dynamo Back Four Balowski. Me Dad was a bit of a Co….

However, my problems with my memory are further complicated by the fact that while I don't have any recollection of things I have actually done, I ha….

If I won the lottery I'd start a charity that helped little family hardware stores, cobblers and fruit shops open in city centres..

I'm sure a psychologist would see something highly significant in how absent-minded I am. I mean I'd forget my head if it wasn't attached to my neck ….

Israel is the Jimmy Saville of nation states..

Honestly, sometimes I get really fed up of my subconscious - it's like it's got a mind of its own..

I feel sorry for many politicians we expect them to be completely consistent and moralised when we're not..

Yuri Gagarin, the first man in space, may have had his charms, but he really couldn't be considered hip..

Even a blind dog can find a bone every so often..

People aren't universally heroic..

Now, as a comic, if you're vaguely amusing you can go straight into TV, then you play the O2 and then everyone's sick of you..

If you travel to the States... they have a lot of different words than like what we use. For instance: they say 'elevator', we say 'lift'; they say '….

If sitcoms were easy to write, there'd be a lot of good ones, and there aren't..

But as in all cults, what's central to the Communist Party is the belief system and the elimination of nuance. From there you're very slowly led down….

Americans have different ways of saying things. They say 'elevator', we say 'lift'... they say 'President', we say 'stupid psychopathic git..

A lot of those comics can't hold down relationships and they've got no other life apart from performing. They sleep in their Jags and a lot of them c….

I wanted to write about how people's beliefs shift..

I've been going to Granada for many years and 12 years ago bought a house a few miles outside the city..

Dire Straits is a great band. Someone tells you they like ""Brothers in Arms"" and immediately you know they're a stupid annoying git..