I like money. That is, it is my preferred means of completing pecuniary transactions. I'm not particularly keen on handing over wads of currency of t….

things are never so indescribably ghastly that they can't get worse..

The snag in being married to a person who knows more or less everything is that one gets hopelessly lazy. ... I never look things up in books because….

I have never had much trouble simultaneously entertaining diametrically opposed propositions, and welcome the possibility that this is not because I ….

Optimism is the last resort of those in deep despair. There can't be any optimists in heaven..

Men were made for war. Without it they wandered greyly about, getting under the feet of the women, who were trying to organize the really important ….

I have frequently thought that the dead should be buried with all their belongings. It seems weirdly perverse that their clothes should still be here….

Claudia's the sort of girl who goes through life holding onto the sides..

Death is the last enemy: once we've got past that I think everything will be alright..

There is a hint of despair in the cry of 'I told you so,' an element of disappointment in the apparent satisfaction when idols turn out to have clay ….

when a person implores you to be reasonable what he means is that you should speed round forthwith to his point of view..

It's when most of the guests have gone that the party really gets interesting - peering under the table and into the bath to see who's stayed and wha….

Evil and laughter cannot co-exist..

Adolescence is usually typified by an unanswerable combination of innocence and insolence..

I think the meaning of the universe is bound up with the egg. ... I am fed up with the meaning of the universe. Everything starts in the egg and ends….

Phrase books seem to be a universal and eternal source of hilarity and I think I know why. Their authors go mad in the course of compiling them..

Those who live on vanity must, not unreasonably, expect to die of mortification..

One can get very fond of the people one meets in bars. The trouble is they then appear sort of different in the daylight and you realize that taking ….

Our only hope rests on the off-chance that God does exist..

There seems to be a peculiar and particular tie between men who have been drunk together..