You know, women are acting the way they want to act now. Years ago they would hide it in the way they dressed, the way they speak, even the way they ….

I make people laugh hard; I'm a comic, that's just the way it is. And I make them laugh because I'm funny, not because I'm filthy. The subject matter….

Women are now more aggressive than men! And I don't put them down for it. I think it's great. My attitude with sex with any woman I've ever been with….

I’m a Brooklyn guy onstage, and I try to really feed my fans with the kind of material they expect from me..

By the time kids are 15, they're drunks and they're drug addicts and they're getting chicks pregnant. The parents wonder, "What did I do wrong?" What….

I always wanted to give people the more exciting version of what I think a comedian should be - because I didn't grow up with comics, I grew up with ….

When you're at your own parents' funeral, when you're at somebody that you love's funeral, you realize how precious life is. And you say, "As long as….

Even as a stage performer, I have my garb which is leather jackets and black jeans to make me feel a certain way. The wardrobe is really important to….

You gotta be happy when you wake up in the morning and look at what's next to ya. You wanna just hop on it again. That's how I feel. That's what life….

I like real girls. When they're in bed with you, it's not a show. They just want to do that..

I loved my family so much when I was growing up, my parents, my sister. I wanted to be able to give them everything they ever dreamed of..

I never became a recluse where I got away from people and who they are and how they think. I'm very much in touch with the world..

I'm not the greatest husband - I've got a girlfriend. It doesn't really please my wife, but then if I was looking to please her I wouldn't have a gir….

You walk into my bedroom at night, it looks like a nightclub. There's all kinds of lighting effects, there's all kinds of music. I want them to feel ….

Don't most men actually think that the more money they spend on a date, the more fingers they get to stick in your pussy before they kiss you goodnig….

Women today leave the house in animal prints and six inch stilettos, what does that say? I'm going to church? They're saying I want you to hang me by….

I do whatever I do. I go to the club. I work on material. While other people are sleeping, I'm awake. I always liked that. I like being able to drive….

Life is like sex, baby - the more you put in, the more you get out. End of story..

When you jerk off, you're saying "Hey", I care about me..

There was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many kids... her uterus fell out!.

Little Boy Blue... he needed the money!.