Straight people say, 'You know you're just gay,' and gay people say, 'You know you're just gay.' There is such a thing as bisexual!.

There are atheists and Christians, and there are people in both groups who are a little too heavy-handed..

The Internet is a great place to find unconventional comedy that you can't find anywhere else..

Guilt is a weird thing to me. I don't have a lot of it..

I'm really ultra-affected by things, I feel things deeper, and I cry at the drop of a hat, and offended and sensitive and I'm almost paranoid very ea….

People love to hate. I have a love-hate relationship with the world. The world loves to hate me..

I had no blood relatives till I made some..

I have a very dark sense of humor..

I used to steal a lot. But I don't do that anymore, because I believe in karma..

I definitely know that I play the part, however big or small, in the deaths of at least two people, Chris Farley and Phil Hartmann..

I guess I'm odd-looking. I'm skinny. But I'm not only skinny - I'm oddly shaped..

My parents just neglected me, I wasn't abused or anything..

It's kind of hard to believe that people love me..

It's pretty hard to offend me. I actually think people are a little too easily offended..

I went to network on a handful of pilots, and going to network is the most stressful situation anybody can ever be in. You're supposed to be on point….

I was a bad boy as a child..

He very nearly stole a scene in my movie, and I didn't call him on it because I was just like, Hey, I saw some stuff on SuperDeluxe and how many diff….

When I was a kid, I was afraid of other kids..

I grew up Presbyterian, just a basic Protestant upbringing. There were years in my life when I would go to church every Sunday and to Sunday school. ….

I know its corny, but laughter is a two-way gift, and hearing people laugh just warms me through and through..

I know what you wanted to say, Do you think that electrocution rewired your brain to make you the retard that you are? You can say it, lady..