Art Buchwald

Ascot is so exclusive that it is the only racecourse in the world where the horses own the people.

Human beings thrive on action. Stagnation does not wear well with us. We are said to have our origins as hunter-gatherers. We run and we chase. We are problem-solvers. We must be continuously tested and we continuously test ourselves. And it will not end until our lives end because of life itself.

I have no idea where I'm going but here's the real question: What am I doing here in the first place?

The best things in life aren't things.

Sharing our depressions felt like having survived a war. The experience bonds you to the other person for life.

Americans are just beginning to regard food the way the French always have. Dinner is not what you do in the evening before something else. Dinner is the evening.

You can't make up anything anymore. The world itself is a satire. All you're doing is recording it.