A good neighbor is a fellow who smiles at you over the back fence, but doesn't climb over it..

A plumber is an adventurer who traces leaky pipes to their source..

If you laid all our laws end to end, there would be no end..

Liquor - you can make it illegal but you can't make it unpopular..

About a veteran player thrown out trying to steal second: There was larceny in his heart, but his legs were honest..

His insomnia was so bad, he couldn't sleep during office hours..

It was as helpful as throwing a drowning man both ends of the rope..

Lefty Grove could throw a lamb chop past a wolf..

You can always judge a man by what he eats, and therefore a country in which there is no free lunch is no longer a free country..

If you demand money from someone in exchange for your silence, it's called 'blackmail'. If your lawyer demands money from someone in exchange for you….

An empty cab drove up and Sarah Bernhardt got out..

It is impossible to tell where the law stops and justice begins..

A newspaper is a circulating library with high blood pressure..

[History is] petrified imagination..

If you do big things they print your face, and if you do little things they print only your thumbs..