Every generation of children has its private hero..

Don Quixote's 'Delusions' is an excellent read - far better than my own forthcoming travel book, 'Walking Backwards Across Tuscany.'.

The moon puts on an elegant show, different every time in shape, colour and nuance..

Comedy ages quicker than tragedy, to the extent that we can't know if the 10 commandments may originally have been 10 hilarious one-liners..

Ninety-eight per cent of laughter is nothing to do with jokes, which do not deserve to bear the weight of all the funny stuff in the world..

An uninspiring canvas becomes a glamorous masterpiece when it is reattributed to a better-known artist..

I'm an armchair kind of guy, especially when it's raining, which it always is and always will be..

I couldn't really see the point of having lunch unless it started at 1:00 and ended a week later in Monte Carlo..

I like doing things I haven't learnt about yet. I've always been interested in art, and I love doing art..

It's worth turning up to an awards gig if you know you've won one but, since you never do know, it's not worth it..

If you want to be happy for a short time, get drunk happy for a long time, fall in love; happy forever, take up gardening..

After you've read a novel, you only retain a vague memory of its contents. You remember the atmosphere, the odd image or phrase or vivid cameo..

Acting in a stage play is like working the evening shift in an office..

I abhor nothing more than bumping into someone I know on the Tube..

If you want to write something of length, however modern and radical, you must live the life of an elderly gentleman of the 1950s..

Obviously I am not bothered about men's fashion - is anyone, apart from Jonathan Ross?.

Acting is the most demanding, painful job in the world..

My sister-in-law believes that few narratives are so tightly constructed that you can't skip boring bits and still keep abreast of what's going on..

The history of the relationship between comedy and swimming is short indeed. Of course it is always funny when someone falls into water, but that's a….

Global warming, the ongoing destruction of the planet, Third World debt, the uselessness of the railways, the takeover by the corporations, the scary….

Reading the play at home, however fulfilling, can never be the vivacious experience that Shakespeare intended..