Ugliness is a point of view; an ulcer is wonderful to a pathologist..

A woman, like a cross-eyed man, looks one way, but goes another--hence her mysteriousness..

The statesman shears the sheep; the politician skins them..

The half-baked sermon causes spiritual indigestion.

In levying taxes and in shearing sheep, it is well to stop when you get down to the skin..

Where there is a choice of two evils, most men take both..

Originality in literature is only a new coat of paint on an old house..

The fact that you have been knocked down is interesting, but the length of time you remained down is important..

If you sit by the wayside waiting for Success, your knees will be too stiff to follow her when she passes..

Shame is the turnkey that keeps our evil desires in jail..

They often say woman cannot keep a secret, but every woman in the world, like every man, has a hundred secrets in her own soul which she hides from e….

Those who have suffered are best able to help those who are suffering..

A great tragedy passes from crest to hollow of passion, rises and sinks again, as rhythmically as sea-waves..

You cannot gather much truth by searching the fields; you must sink shafts..

Boards of public charity were invented by the devil to prevent real individual charity..

The perfection of art is to conceal the sources..

Sermons are like pie-crust, the shorter the better..

Civilization is the world with its leg asleep..

Despair is vinegar from the wine of hope..

We use religion like a trolley-car--we ride on it only while it is going our way..

The most dangerous savages live in cities..