Sport is a loathsome and dangerous pursuit..

To live in Australia permanently is rather like going to a party and dancing all night with one's mother..

I love Australia - I think..

I've decided the secret of parenting is benevolent neglect.I put my family last. Because if you don't, if you put them first, they never thank you. Y….

He's very, very well-known. I'd say he's world-famous in Melbourne..

It's an old Aboriginal word meaning 'Let's get together and have fun'. They gave us the word because they had no further need for it..

I was born with a priceless gift, the ability to laugh at the misfortunes of others..

I think a lot of people think that we [comedians] are nerveless people in the theatre, that we don't feel that kind of terror which traditionally any….

I know body hair bothers some women, but a lot of men like a fluffy partner..

My parents were very pleased that I was in the army. The fact that I hated it somehow pleased them even more..

New Zealand is a country of thirty thousand million sheep, three million of whom think they are human..

I drift along, thinking about the past a great deal. The past is so reliable, so delightful, and the best place to live. I end up there quite often, ….

Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century..

The truth is deafening, no matter how softly it is spoken..

Sex is the most beautiful thing that can take place between a happily married man and his secretary..

My mother used to say that there are no strangers, only friends you haven't met yet. She's now in a maximum security twilight home in Australia.

If you have to explain satire to someone, you might as well give up..

There is no more terrible fate for a comedian than to be taken seriously..

The past is so reliable, so delightful and the best place to live..

Australia is an outdoor country. People only go inside to use the toilet. And that's only a recent development..

I'm an immensely shy and vulnerable woman. My husband has never seen me naked. Nor has he expressed the least desire to do so..