[I'm] more German than Irish..

It's a blue-collar city [Manchester] that's transitioning into a white collar place and people are getting priced out..

Realize that sleeping on a futon when you're 30 is not the worst thing. You know what's worse, sleeping in a king bed next to a wife you're not reall….

We need a plague. It's gotta happen. And don't worry, it's only gonna kill the weak. Seriously. Put on a sweater, take some vitamins, you're gonna be….

Surround yourself with positive people. Also, be a positive person. Root for people. Somebody else's success is not your failure..

To me this is not yelling. I am not yelling. I'm just passionate about my opinions and I want to tell you all of them before you start talking again..

Inter-racial sex is probably some of the best sex on the planet. You know what that is? Because with inter-racial sex there's like this whole added p….

Only an adult with dying dreams can appreciate how awesome it is to have a dog..

Deny your emotions and act like you have answers.

Comedians have the ability to feel other emotions..

Haven't you noticed that every time the government f-ks up McDonald's has a new sandwich?.

Don't be a jerk to other comics and don't let the business beat you down, stay positive and if you work your ass off you're going to get somewhere..

Do you know how many times a week people ask me why I'm yelling?.

My dad was a dentist but I wasn't a hygienist. I assisted my dad..

Animated program was definitely a different process but it was fun though, it had elements of doing my podcast where we were all in a booth with micr….

I've found is that by doing stand-up, I've actually learned how to combat depression. I don't have clinical, but I've definitely had my bouts with it….

If this goes into sweatshop labor, I'm quitting this podcast..

Michael Price is the showrunner so nobody works harder than him..

God's everywhere, but I gotta go down (to church) to see him? Really? And he's mad at me down there, and I owe you money?.

I love doing radio, and I love doing stand-up, obviously..

Oh look, an ATM! Ok, here we go! I lost all my money, now what do I do? Get a gun! Rob a casino! Good idea! Look at all the lights! This is beautiful..