Explore Quotes by Bill Watterson

Sometimes when I'm talking, my words can't keep up with my thoughts. I wonder why we think faster than we speak. Probably so we can think twice.

Sometimes I think the surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that none of it has tried to contact us.

It's always better to leave the party early.

I like maxims that don't encourage behavior modification.

You never know when some crazed rodent with cold feet could be running loose in your pants.

Well, remember what you said, because in a day or two, I'll have a witty and blistering retort! You'll be devastated THEN

I think hiccup cures were really invented for the amusement of the patient's friends.

You know, Hobbes, some days even my lucky rocket ship underpants don't help.

I'm killing time while I wait for life to shower me with meaning and happiness.

Wow, it really snowed last night! Isn't it wonderful? Everything familiar has disappeared! The world looks brand new! A new year ... a fresh, clean start! It's like having a big white sheet of paper to draw on! A day full of possibilities! It's a magical world, Hobbes, ol' buddy ... let's go exploring!

For your information, I'm staying like this, and everyone else can just get used to it! If people don't like me the way I am, well TOUGH BEANS! It's a free country! I don't need anyone's permission to be the way I want! This is who I am - Take it or leave it!

People think it must be fun to be a super genius, but they don't realize how hard it is to put up with all the idiots in the world.

I'm learning skills I will use for the rest of my life by doing homework...procrastinating and negotiation.

HOBBES: All this modern technology just makes people try to do everything at once.

Hobbes: Do you think there's a God? Calvin: Well, somebody's out to get me!

CALVIN: When I grow up I want to be an inventor. First I will invent a time machine. Then I'll come back to yesterday and take myself to tomorrow and skip this dumb assignment.

CALVIN: Our hero regains consciousness at the feet of a sarcastic alien.

Calvin: Isn't it strange that evolution would give us a sense of humor? When you think about it, it's weird that we have a physiological response to absurdity. We laugh at nonsense. We like it. We think it's funny. Don't you think it's odd that we appreciate absurdity? Why would we develop that way? How does it benefit us? Hobbes: I suppose if we couldn't laugh at things that don't make sense, we couldn't react to a lot of life.

CALVIN: This whole Santa Claus thing just doesn't make sense. Why all the secrecy? Why all the mystery? If the guy exists why doesn't he ever show himself and prove it? And if he doesn't exist what's the meaning of all this? HOBBES: I dunno. Isn't this a religious holiday? CALVIN: Yeah, but actually, I've got the same questions about God.

If you don't get a goodnight kiss, you get Kafka dreams.

That's the difference between me and the rest of the world. Happiness isn't good enough for me! I demand euphoria!