Nothing can take the sting out of the world’s economic problems like watching millionaires present each other with golden statues..

The house as I say ... smelled of brisket and bourbon, so you could hear that. I started imitating them. Phrases came out of that, "Can't you dig tha….

Did you ever reach a point in your life, where you say to yourself, 'This is the best I'm ever going to look, the best I'm ever going to feel, the be….

There's only, I think, in life, three things that I do pretty well: Performing, I still can field ground balls, and I make nice kids..

I don't like heights. This is why I stopped growing at fifth grade..

Even when I was in school shows, in elementary school doing plays, I'd always go off book and start improvising..

Women need a reason to have sex, men just need a place..

I'm married - I've caught my limit..

I can't be funny if my feet don't feel right..

Don't give up your power..

It is better to look good than to feel good..

I had really good hearing and when you're scared it gets heightened so you hear scratching noises or something..

I'm going to go on just living and laughing and loving..

When you realize you want to invest the rest of your lifestyle with somebody, you want the rest of your life to commence as quickly as achievable..

I quit drinking. That was a big problem for a lot of years. Then after that, I just started feeling grateful again..

Good news, they found Nemo! The bad news is, they found him in one of Wolfgang Puck's puff pastries..

Well, the way things are going, aside from wheat and auto parts, America's biggest export is now the Oscar..

Kids need a happy household. They need to be loved and supported in their dreams. And I don't think you can make your kids' dreams your own. They nee….

I have 40-something intros [that Davis Jr. did]; all are different, none of them happened. And it was hilarious..

Gentlemen, start your egos!.

Change is such hard work..