And then as I got older, see, I think a lot of times with comics, your life kind of permeates your act. Whatever is happening in your life is what's ….

I have been a big guy all my life, I am not going to lose a bunch of weight, because then you're like that weird fat person that got skinny but still….

The quickest way to defuse fear or insecurity or anger is usually humor. I think comics figure that out quickly, and, once you figure it out, you thi….

You know, I'm playing the Mirage in Vegas, the main room... About 5 percent of all comics end up as the main headliner on the Vegas Strip, so that's ….

I've been trying to watch my weight a bit, but when I come to Las Vegas, all bets are off. I get enough healthy food in L.A. where the food is the si….

Stand-up will always come first. I've been doing it for 22 years, and nothing compares to that connection you have with the audience. It's euphoric..

Whenever I realize I'm being a goofball, I write it down. When I release the joke onstage, I love watching the effect it has on the audience. No one ….

Yeah, I've done Jim Breuer's radio show a couple times, and I heard from Larry the Cable Guy when I got 'Mike & Molly,' wishing me congratulations. I….

Look, you know, you can't please everybody. I'm a stand-up comic. I know that. It doesn't matter how funny you are and how well you do, there's two p….

I come from a working-class family in Pittsburgh, whereas 'Mike & Molly' deals with the working class in Chicago. I swear a little, but I pretty much….

You start realizing that maybe you're the one night a month that people have out, and they don't need to hear your political views or how dark you ca….

Everybody wants to be a better version of themselves - everybody. And I hope one day I can lose some weight. Maybe, who knows, I'll hire myself a tra….

I chewed up a lot of Florida highway when I was starting out. Used to come to Tampa two or three times a year for about 10 years straight..

You need a wisecracking buddy standing next to you? That's the role for me. You got the guys who are knock-down, drag-out handsome. That's what peopl….

I always like to find those little mom-and-pop sandwich places, or diners. Those are my favorite kind of places..

I mean, yeah, I want to lose some weight! I'm doing the best I can..

I'm from Minnesota! I used to work Knuckleheads at the Mall of America as a stand-up. I spent New Year's there once. I'm not trying to namedrop..

I like those older theaters - the acoustics are perfect, I mean, you just have that feel of there's been a thousand shows in there and now you get to….

As a comic, I've heard gunshots while I'm trying to get to sleep. I've performed where people wanted to do you harm after the show because of somethi….

Sometimes WRONG is worth the FUNNY!.