I'm one of those passengers who arrives at the airport five or six hours early so I can throw back a few drinks and muster up the courage to board th….

A collison is what happens when two motorists go after the same pedestrian..

I still feel thirty, except when I try to run..

It's getting harder and harder to differentiate between schizophrenics and people talking on a cell phone. It still brings me up short to walk by som….

I think you should be a child for as long as you can. I have been successful for 74 years being able to do that. Don't rush into adulthood, it isn't ….

The only way to survive is to have a sense of humour..

Don't ever have two dogs. That way you won't know which one to blame..

People with a sense of humor tend to be less egocentric and more realistic in their view of the world and more humble in moments of success and less ….

Laughter gives us distance. It allows us to step back from an event, deal with it and then move on..

Continuing to do stand-up is always a challenge because the audiences and the environments in which you work very often differ..

There's a lot of cynicism. Let's really enjoy Christmas, with all that's going on in the world..

When I started out in 1960, I thought it might possibly last a couple of years. I never expected it to last 42. I take great satisfaction in that lon….

The best advice I could give someone trying to get into the comedy field is to take advantage of every opportunity you have to work to hone your skil….

There are a lot of questions I keep asking myself about why I do comedy. I guess I laugh to keep from crying. And I guess if you ever get me crying, ….

You never know when you'll come upon something and it's going to be fodder for new material..

When you're going for a joke, you're stuck out there if it doesn't work. There's nowhere to go. You've done the drum role and the cymbal clash and yo….

You should have a value system. You can win if you stick with your value system..

This stammer got me a home in Beverly Hills, and I'm not about to screw with it now..

I was not influenced by Jack Benny, and people have remarked on my timing and Jack's timing, but I don't think you can teach timing. It's something y….

Well, my career choice made a difference because I never would have met my wife, Jenny. I met her through comedian Buddy Hackett. He set us up on a b….

I worked in accounting for two and a half years, realized that wasn't what I wanted to do with the rest of my life, and decided I was just going to g….