There's a difference between maliciously offending somebody - on purpose - and somebody being offended by...truth. If you're offended by the truth, t….

The wussification of America is killing us by teaching us to censor ourselves from what we believe. That's why I want to see political correctness di….

God is a crutch? Yeah, well, not believing in God is a coma..

Conservative concepts believe in little government - take care of yourself, and that makes men who invent things like the constitution! Liberal thoug….

When you're at a comedy club, if you're not funny, you don't work. People will let you know, whether it's by booing or yelling for you to get out of ….

I hope that nothing ever wussifies me to deny my own personal beliefs. Brainwashed wussies have been taught that standing up for yourself and defendi….

Because when the Creator of matter, tell you you matter, then you have a purpose and then you have self-esteem..

They got special terms that they use when they're pregnant. They don't even say pregnant, got special words they use - I'm expecting. Expecting what?….

I suffer from two phobias: 1) Phobia-Phobia, the fear that you're unable to get scared, and 2) Xylophataquieopiaphobia, the fear of not pronouncing w….

If we all die and there is no God, then it's just eternal unconsciousness, you'll never know, but if you're wrong... you'll know forever..

If the truth conflicts with my beliefs, I change my beliefs..

You're not a bunch of people lock-stepped with the politically correct. Oh no! Don't shoot the animals! They might get their feelings hurt!.

The truth is supposed to hurt. That's how it lets you know you don't got it..

If God is a crutch, then atheism is a coma..

When did banning anything, ever work? I mean, we banned liquor once in this country, oh, that worked like a charm, didn't it, folks? You couldn't fin….

The way to stop political correctness is to not do it. If someone says, You offended me then you say I don't care! If they're offended by the truth, ….

You want to reclaim your country? You got to go back to the first men who started this country, the founding fathers and this is going to be shocking….

Talk about sexist - have you ever, ever, heard someone come up to a woman and say 'find your masculine side?' And by the way women, if you find your ….

I bring up God alot in my show, know why? Because I miss him..

Who is more irrational, the guy who believes in a God he can't see, or a guy who's offended by a God he doesn't believe in?.

We should have a way of telling people they have bad breath without hurting their feelings. Well, I'm bored. Let's go brush our teeth. Or, I've got t….