Not long ago a friend asked me what was the greatest pleasure I got from spending my whole life as an actor. There have been so many that I had to th….

Charlie Chaplin and I would have a friendly contest: Who could do the feature film with the least subtitles?.

A comedian does funny things. A good comedian does things funny..

Is Hollywood the cruelest city in the world? Well, it can be. New York can be that, too. You can be a Broadway star here one night, and something hap….

I gotta do some sad scenes. Why, I never tried to make anybody cry in my life! And I go `round all the time dolled up in kippie clothes-wear everythi….

If one more person tells me this is just like old times, I swear I'll jump out the window..

I don't feel qualified to talk about my work..

Like everyone else, I like to be with a happy crowd..

And if there is sweeter music this side of heaven I haven't heard it..

I don't act, anyway. The stuff is all injected as we go along. My pictures are made without script or written directions of any kind.

No man can be a genius in slapshoes and a flat hat..

What really got my goat at MGM were comedians like The Marx Brothers who never wrote their own jokes..

I`ve had few dull moments [in my life] and not too many sad and defeated ones. In saying this I am by no means overlooking the rough and rocky years ….

The funny thing about our act is that dad gets the worst of it, although I'm the one who apparently receives the bruises [...] the secret is in landi….

Down through the years my face has been called a sour puss, a dead pan, a frozen face, The Great Stone Face, and, believe it or not, "a tragic mask."….

The first thing I did in the studio was to want to tear that camera to pieces. I had to know how that film got into the cutting room, what you did to….

I was mad at the time, or I would never have done the thing..

They say pantomime's a lost art. It's never been a lost art and never will be, because it's too natural to do..

Silence is of the gods; only monkeys chatter..

All my life I have been happiest when the folks watching me said to each other, `Look at the poor dope, wilya?.

Tragedy is a close-up; comedy, a long shot..