Some people have their marriages annulled, which means they never existed. Boy, talk about denial! What do you say when people see your wedding album….

I've seen too many comics who got their own shows and were undone because they worked for an executive producer who didn't understand their comedy or….

Time flies, though, huh? But I feel young. And do you know how I stay feeling young, ladies and gentlemen? I'll share my secret with you: I live in a….

My kind of gay, meeting a woman and falling in love, is a different experience because it wasn't anything about 'Oh, I've always been gay and I'm bre….

My father was a huge influence on me..

I feel I've always got to keep my stand-up because I never want to lose it..

When do we put on the lingerie? Always at the beginning of the relationship - first couple of months, strutting around the bedroom wearing a teddy. Y….

Whenever I travel I like to keep the seat next to me empty. I found a great way to do it. When someone walks down the aisle and says to you, "Is some….

I'm wearing a new perfume that I should recommend to the women in the audience; it's called 'Tester..

Oh, this is fun - went to a nude beach for the first time. Yeah, that's what I thought. You ever been to a nude beach? Thought it would be all sexy a….

Making love to a woman is like buying real estate: location, location, location..

I was over there in Hawaii. I was there on the big island. The 'Big Island' - that name cracks me up. First of all, it's not that big, so I'm pretty ….

Women in the workplace - we still have big strides to make. Girlfriend of mine just got a new job. First question the new boss asked her was if she c….

You can never go wrong betting on Americans' bad eating habits. So I've made a ton investing in all fast food chains, while at the same time investin….

I'm not into working out. My philosophy: No pain, no pain..

When you lie about your age, the terrorists win..

I never thought I was going to have children. I just thought after 45, that was it..

My father was the king of the joke-tellers. I was so impressed as a child watching him, holding people in rapt attention..

I recently became vegan because I felt that as a Jewish lesbian, I wasn't part of a small enough minority. So now I'm a Jewish lesbian vegan..

I'm sorry I didn't have this revelation earlier. I sleep better and more soundly because I'm not participating anymore..

When you're single again, at the beginning you're very optimistic and you say, 'I want to meet someone who's really smart, really sweet, really sensi….