Occupation: Bodybuilder Birth: February 24, 1975
If Adam had had a real hairy back, we probably wouldn't be here today..
Green clovers. Blue diamonds. Orange Stars. Pink hearts. Purple horseshoes. Man, I never know if I'm looking at a bowl of cereal or having another ac….
It was only after I untied my girlfriend from being face down on the bed that I learned her screaming, 'Asshole!' was a statement about my character ….
Whenever my teenage daughter comes down the stairs dressed like a tramp for her date, I think to myself: 'Damn, why won't her mother wear something l….
I get all excited when I think that someone's 1-900 sex call from a cell phone might be passing through my body right now..
My friend goes through the wedding section of the Sunday paper looking at the brides-to-be and picks out a Dog-of-the-Week. I think that's cruel towa….
You can't throw him back because he doesn't meet the legal size limit..
Nothing can burst your fatherly bubble faster than hearing your daughter come home from a date and saying: 'Some nights I don't know why I even bothe….
At a wedding last week, my wife said: 'Isn't the bride beautiful ?' When I responded by saying, 'Yeah, but her blowjobs aren't half as good as yours'….