The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit..

I would just like to say that after all these years of heavy drinking, bright lights and late nights, I still don't need glasses. I drink right out o….

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive.

Classic Van Halen made people want to dance and f**k. Modern Van Halen makes you want to drink milk and drive foreign cars..

If you want to split a bottle with a friend, then Sammy Hagar is your guy. If you want to split your friend with a bottle than give me a call..

When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that's when you know you've made it..

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it..

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults..

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!.

I think the two most difficult things to deal with in life are failure and success.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records..

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass..

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's..

He who knows how will always work for he who knows why..

The Breakfast of Champions isn't cereal, it's the competition!.

Women are great. When they dig you, there's nothing they won't do. That kind of loyalty is hard to find - unless you've got a good dog..

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you ….

The best time is during the struggle. The top of the mountain is usually small, freezing and lonesome. To this day I'm continually reinvesting myself….

We've all got out self-destructive bad habits, the trick is to find four or five you personally like the best and just do those all the time..

I'm a family oriented guy; I've personally started four or five this year..

I used to have a drug problem, but now I have enough money..