He who knows how will always work for he who knows why..

The best time is during the struggle. The top of the mountain is usually small, freezing and lonesome. To this day I'm continually reinvesting myself….

Music journalists love Elvis Costello and hate me because they look like Elvis Costello.

When I die, sprinkle my ashes over the 80's..

When you can spell subpoena without thinking about it, that's when you know you've made it..

Classic Van Halen made people want to dance and f**k. Modern Van Halen makes you want to drink milk and drive foreign cars..

I used to jog but the ice cubes kept falling out of my glass..

I'm not conceited. Conceit is a fault and I have no faults..

Remember, life is just a game and no one gets out alive.

If you put a Van Halen album in your record collection, it will melt all the rest of your records..

The perfect woman has an IQ of 150, wants to make love until 4 in the morning, then turns into a pizza!.

I think the two most difficult things to deal with in life are failure and success.

If you subtracted all of the great artists who never drank, who never went to excess, you wouldn't have any more art left. What kind of poem are you ….

We've all got out self-destructive bad habits, the trick is to find four or five you personally like the best and just do those all the time..

Women are great. When they dig you, there's nothing they won't do. That kind of loyalty is hard to find - unless you've got a good dog..

Money can't buy you happiness, but it can buy you a yacht big enough to pull up right alongside it..

You've got to roll with the punches to get to what's real..

The problem with self-improvement is knowing when to quit..

I'm a family oriented guy; I've personally started four or five this year..

I used to have a drug problem, but now I have enough money..

The Breakfast of Champions isn't cereal, it's the competition!.