I was so drunk last night I fell down and missed the floor..

Everybody makes mistakes; look at Hitler..

Brother, you can't go to jail for what you're thinking, or that look in your eye, just standing on the corner watching all the girls go by..

In a tuxedo, I'm a star. In regular clothes, I'm a nobody..

The thing I notice first about a woman is her walk. A beautiful woman is like a race horse-slim, sleek and with a beautiful carriage..

If this is just the beginning, my life's gonna be beautiful..

It was a woman who drove me to drink. Come to think of it, I never did hang around to thank her for that. 'Hey lady! Do I look all blurry to you? 'Ca….

Everybody Loves Somebody Sometime..

Your lips and mine, two sips of wine, memories are made of this..

The whole world is drunk and we're just the cocktail of the moment. Someday soon, the world will wake up, down two aspirin with a glass of tomato jui….

The world is the same you never change it, as sure as the stars shine above. Well, you're nobody til somebody loves you, so find yourself somebody to….

Somewhere there's a someone for me. Though I may be lonely now, I'll see it through somehow, to somebody's heart I know I hold the key..

When the world seems to shine like you've had too much wine, that's amore..

If you drink don't drive. Don't even putt..

If people want to think I get drunk and stay out all night, let'em. That's how I got here, you know..

I once shook hands with Pat Boone, and my whole right side sobered up!.

When your opponent's sittin' there holdin' all the aces, there's only one thing to do: kick over the table..

I don't drink anymore... I freeze it and eat it like a popsicle..

Your love made it all worth waiting for some like you..

When Jerry Lewis and I were big, we used to go to parties, and everybody thought I was big-headed and stuck up, and I wasn't. It was because I didn't….

I've got seven kids. The three words you hear most around my house are 'hello,' 'goodbye,' and 'I'm pregnant.'.