Moralizing and morals are two entirely different things and are always found in entirely different people.

The beggar is the only person in the universe not obliged to study appearance..

This is the greatest paradox: the emotions cannot be trusted; yet it is the emotions that tell us the greatest truths..

Conversation: The slowest form of human communication..

Don't ever slam a door, you might want to go back..

Interruptions are the spice of life..

Very few people look the part and are it too..

Some people have nothing but experience..

Work is the greatest thing in the world, so we should always save some of it for tomorrow..

Unhappiness is not knowing what we want and killing ourselves to get it..

The mind of man has no defense To equal plain, old common sense. This homely virtue don't despise, If you would be happy as well as wise..

There is more sophistication and less sense in New York than anywhere else on the globe..

If I had my life to live over, I'd pick more daisies..

Why resist temptation? There will always be more..

Women give us solace, but if it were not for women we should never need solace..

There's one thing about baldness, it's neat..

A lot of men think that if they smile for a second, somebody will take advantage of them, and they are right..

Intellectuals should never marry; they won't enjoy it; and besides, they should not reproduce themselves..

I do not believe in doing for pleasure things I do not like to do..

Babies are such a nice way to start people..

An honourable agreement among men as to their conduct toward women, and it was devised by women..