Occupation: Humorist Birth: July 29, 1878 Death: December 29, 1937
The chief obstacle to the progress of the human race is the human race..
An idea isn't responsible for the people who believe in it..
Nearly every night before I go to bed I ask myself, "Have I vibrated in tune with the Infinite today, or have I failed?.
Every cloud has its silver lining but it is sometimes a little difficult to get it to the mint..
In order to influence a child, one must be careful not to be that child's parent or grandparent..
A fierce unrest seethes at the core, of all existing things:, it was the eager wish to soar, that gave the gods their wings..
Between the years of ninety-two and a hundred and two, however, we shall be the ribald, useless, drunken, outcast person we have always wished to be.….
There is always a comforting thought in time of trouble when it is not our trouble..
A demagogue is a person with whom we disagree as to which gang should mismanage the country..
A pessimist is a person who has had to listen to too many optimists..
When you can't have anything else, you can have virtue..
I once heard the survivors of a colony of ants that had been partially obliterated by a cow's foot seriously debating the intention of the gods towar….
Happiness is the interval between periods of unhappiness..
My heart hath followed all my days Something I cannot name..
Insects have their own point of view about civilization a man thinks he amounts to a great deal but to a flea or a mosquito a human being is merely s….
When a man tells you that he got rich through hard work, ask him: 'Whose?'.
Publishing a volume of verse is like dropping a rose petal down the Grand Canyon and waiting for the echo..
The trouble with the public is that there is too much of it; what we need in public is less quantity and more quality..
Procrastination is the art of keeping up with yesterday..
An optimist is a guy that has never had much experience..
If a child shows himself incorrigible, he should be decently and quietly beheaded at the age of twelve, lest he grow to maturity, marry, and perpetua….