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Sherlock Holmes observed that once you have eliminated the impossible then whatever remains, however improbable, must be the answer. I, however, do not like to eliminate the impossible.

Marvin was humming ironically because he hated humans so much.

Ok," he said, "I don't like to disturb you at what I know must be a difficult and distressing time for you, but I need to know first of all if you actually realize that this is a difficult and distressing time for you.

He was constantly reminded of how startlingly different a place the world was when viewed from a point only three feet to the left.

‎If you ever find you need help again, you know, if you're in trouble, need a hand out of a corner..." "Yeah?" "Please don't hesitate to get lost.

Beppu (n.) The triumphant slamming shut of a book after reading the final page.

Aberystwyth (n.) A nostalgic yearning which is in itself more pleasant than the thing being yearned for.

A computer chatted to itself in alarm as it noticed an airlock open and close itself for no apparent reason. This was because Reason was in fact out to lunch.

For as long as he could remember, he’d suffered from a vague nagging feeling of being not all there.

It is difficult to be sat on all day, every day, by some other creature, without forming an opinion on them. On the other hand, it is perfectly possible to sit all day, every day, on top of another creature and not have the slightest thought about them whatsoever.

Your God person puts an apple tree in the middle of a garden and says, do what you like, guys, oh, but don't eat the apple. Surprise surprise, they eat it and he leaps out from behind a bush shouting "Gotcha". It wouldn't have made any difference if they hadn't eaten it.' 'Why not?' 'Because if you're dealing with somebody who has the sort of mentality which likes leaving hats on the pavement with bricks under them you know perfectly well they won't give up. They'll get you in the end.

What does it matter? Science has achieved some wonderful things, of course, but I'd far rather be happy than right any day.

Mc Donalds he thought. There's no longer any such thing as a Mc Donalds hamburger. He passed out. When he came around seconds later he found he was sobbing for his mother.

I really didn't foresee the Internet. But then, neither did the computer industry. Not that that tells us very much of course--the computer industry didn't even foresee that the century was going to end.

When people you greatly admire appear to be thinking deep thoughts, they probably are thinking about lunch.

There was one planet off in the seventh dimension that got used as a ball in a game of intergalactic bar billiards. Got potted straight into a black hole.

There was a terribly ghastly silence. There was a terribly ghastly noise. There was a terribly ghastly silence.

I come in peace...Take me to your lizard.

Let us be dreamers, thinkers, speculative philosophers, or as our spouses would have it: Idiots

He inched his way up the corridor as if he would rather be yarding his way down it, which was true.

The light was only just visible - except of course that there was no one to see, no witnesses, not this time, but it was nevertheless a light.