I'm left handed, but my dad taught me to play guitar right-handed..

We don't know what we're writing until it just comes out. We don't sit around crunching numbers.

I don't really go back over my old shows, but I'll see them occasionally, mostly I want to go back and change things about the character as I look at….

The sword was a very elegant weapon in the days of the samurai. You had honor and chivalry much like the knights, and yet it was a gruesome and horri….

These days, everyone is a writer, producer and movie star. You post something on the web, get enough hits, and suddenly you have TV show..

I don't know who's worse with little boys, Mario or Michael Jackson..

There's people that figure if they hang out with you, all of a sudden they're going to be successes. I've had two or three stalkers in my life.

I don't think you can ever make enough to be set for life. Well, I guess there are limits. In the billions, I guess..

If I ever went, I'd want to go peacefully in my sleep. I wouldn't want to plan my own death..

Stand-up in general is the most raw form of entertainment. There is no pyrotechnics or back-up dancers, it's just live and die by your jokes, that's ….

I'm not a big radio guy, I don't listen to whatever is the hip new thing..

Kids these days don't know as much about music as they think they do.

I'm a shepherd, not a sheep, and I've always prided myself on being a leader and not a follower..

All these child stars grow up and they're knockin' over banks and getting prostitutes. I'm, like, one of the only people I know that has managed to d….

I'm the guy who will eat something that looks nice when I'm out, but when I take it home in a doggie bag, it'll sit in the back of my refrigerator un….

Just do exactly what it is that makes you want to do what you do. The stuff I listen to in my private collection, it's what moves me, makes me want t….

Chess is a game that benefits people of all ages, especially kids, in any area of life, business, problem solving, and social skills. Chess has the ….

There are a lot of girls that will try to hook up with you, then try to have your kid because they figure they're going to get all this money from you.

Usually people in the acting business end up both in front of and behind the camera. Working for so long in the business, I know how it works. It's n….

It pisses me off, people are idiots, but what are you going to do? The world is full of idiots. That's why we'll never have flying cars. People don't….

I really pay attention to the bass in the music I listen to, and that's what I tend to write toward..