So then there was the Greek, Socrates, he was great... He invented questioning. Before Socrates, no questioning. Everyone sort of went, ''Yeah, I sup….

I wear whatever I want whenever I want. I don't call it drag; I don't even call it cross-dressing. It's just wearing a dress..

If you've never seen an elephant ski, then you've never been on acid..

If you can be your own force of nature and have a positive heart, then you can actually do something good in the world..

I grew up in Europe, where the history comes from..

Before birds get sucked into jet engines, do they ever think, Is that Rod Stewart in first class?.

What was the first cat that talked a human into putting a cat door in?.

I don't believe in God. I believe gods and devils are within us. It's our own battle. Our life's battle is to appeal to the gods within us, and to fi….

I'm into humanity. I don't believe in God, but I believe in human beings..

You have no control over your cat! You can't say to your cat, "Cat, heel! Stay! Wait! Lie down! Roll over!" 'Cause the cat's just gonna be sitting th….

I like my coffee like I like my women. In a plastic cup..

Horseshoes are lucky. Horses have four bits of lucky nailed to their feet. They should be the luckiest animals in the world. They should rule the cou….

The Death Star is just full of British actors opening doors and going,Oh... I... oh... What is it Lieutenant Sebastian? It's just the Rebels, sir... ….

Guns don't kill people, people kill people, and monkeys do too (if they have a gun)..

Never put a sock in a toaster..

Because we all know one of the main factors of war is the element of surprise. And what could be more surprising than the First Batallion Transvestit….

But with dogs, we do have "bad dog." Bad dog exists. "Bad dog! Bad dog! Stole a biscuit, bad dog!" The dog is saying, "Who are you to judge me? You h….

They’re not women’s clothes. They’re my clothes. I bought them..

I like my coffee hot and strong. Like I like my women: hot and strong...with a spoon in them..

You’ve got to believe you can be a standup before you can be a standup. You have to believe you can act before you can act. You have to believe you c….

If there is a God, his plan is very similar to someone not having a plan..