No matter what dimension you're in, there's a big-headed male trying to take over the world..

I do like to read in bed, but because I have two kids I'm often forced to read in the bathroom..

I hear that you were on a date with Trouble Kelp. Are you two planning on building a bivouac any time soon?.

A monkey glances up and sees a banana, and that's as far as he looks. A visionary looks up and sees the moon..

Don't hate me forever, Arty," whispered Holly. "I couldn't bear that..

The thing about reading is that if you are hooked, you're not going to stop just because one series is over; you're going to go and find something el….

The Theory of Evolution has more holes in it than a dam made out of Swiss cheese..

Dreams come true all the time, just not for the dreamers.

I never tell anyone exactly how clever I am. They would be too scared..

Evolution is a theory with more holes than a Dutch dam of swiss cheese..

A CD. How quaint. We have these in museums..

If it looks like a Dwarf, and it smells like a Dwarf, then it's probably a Dwarf or a latrine wearing dungerees..

In my experience, boys are predictable. As soon as they think of something, they do it. Girls are smarter—they plan ahead. They think about not getti….

I often meet frustrated young writers who say they've only got so far and just can't finish a book. Even if you don't happen to use what you've worke….

Well, I don't like the first bit and I don't know the last bit. So I'm really hoping the middle bit is exceptional..

There is no such thing as a happy ending. Every culture has a maxim that makes this point, while nowhere in the Universe is there a single gravestone….

Oh, I'm crazy all right. I do have plenty of psychoses. Multiple personality, delusional dementia, OCD. I've got them all, but most of all, I'm crazy….

Confidence is ignorance. If you're feeling cocky, it's because there's something you don't know..

Ignorance, as they say, is usually fatal, but sometimes it can be bliss..

'Insanity... I like it.".

You know you're in trouble when your own imagination starts punishing you..