Explore Quotes by Frank Zappa

Most people wouldn't know music if it came up and bit them on the ass.

I never set out to be weird. It was always other people who called me weird.

The computer can't tell you the emotional story. It can give you the exact mathematical design, but what's missing is the eyebrows.

You can't always write a chord ugly enough to say what you want to say, so sometimes you have to rely on a giraffe filled with whipped cream.

Communism doesn't work because people like to own stuff.

There are more love songs than anything else. If songs could make you do something we'd all love one another.

Most rock journalism is people who can't write, interviewing people who can't talk, for people who can't read.

There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

Music, in performance, is a type of sculpture. The air in the performance is sculpted into something.

It isn't necessary to imagine the world ending in fire or ice. There are two other possibilities: one is paperwork, and the other is nostalgia.

If you want to get laid, go to college. If you want an education, go to the library.

You can't be a real country unless you have a beer and an airline. It helps if you have some kind of a football team, or some nuclear weapons, but at the very least you need a beer.

The United States is a nation of laws: badly written and randomly enforced.

Some scientists claim that hydrogen, because it is so plentiful, is the basic building block of the universe. I dispute that. I say there is more stupidity than hydrogen, and that is the basic building block of the universe.

One of my favorite philosophical tenets is that people will agree with you only if they already agree with you. You do not change people's minds.

Without music to decorate it, time is just a bunch of boring production deadlines or dates by which bills must be paid.

If you really love guitar, you're going to spend every waking hour stroking the thing.

Elmore James only knew one lick, but you had the feeling that he meant it.

I don't want to spend my life explaining myself. You either get it, or you don't.

Sometimes you got to get sick before you can feel better.

The first thing you have to do if you want to raise nice kids, is you have to talk to them like they are people instead of talking to them like they're property.