Explore Quotes by Garrison Keillor

She gave him such a look... Man oh man, if looks could kill. That one might have totalled a city block.

You learn this great lesson of life: it's not about me. It's just not. The matter of talent-which seemed so important to you when you were young-is not of great importance. We're simply a conduit. We take things out of the air into us and put them in the form of stories. That's pretty much it.

That's what I am, Frank thought, an ordinary genius. He had unlocked the secret of radio. The sport of the ordinary! Brillliant me like Reed Seymour couldn't figure this out for the life of them! Reed was ashamed of radio. ...radio was a cinch if you kept reaching down and grabbing up handfuls of the ordinary.

I thought A Prairie Home Companion would be an interesting thing to do for a summer or so. Public radio was just seven years old in 1974. It was a tiny organization in which a lot of things got started simply because there was all this time to fill. If you wanted to do an hour on Lithuanian folk dancing, you probably could have done it.

Some people think it is difficult to be a Christian and to laugh, but I think it's the other way around. God writes a lot of comedy, its just that he has so many bad actors.

Boys, the first drink is a boon, the second is a gamble, the third is poor judgment, and then the rate of descent gets steep

Don't tear up the page and start over again when you write a bad line-try to write your way out of it. Make mistakes and plunge on. Writing is a means of discovery, always.

Easter is so disappointing. You suffer all the way through lent, and what do you get for it? A ham.

Some luck lies in not getting what you thought you wanted but getting what you have.

No innocent man buys a gun, and no happy man writes his memoirs.

Enough. Man is capable of reform once presented with the facts, and the fact is that bottling water and shipping it is a big waste of fuel, so stop already.

I think the most un-American thing you can say is, 'You can't say that.'

I have taken so many wrong turns and been so careless with precious things and managed to lose, or break, or leave out in the rain so much that I loved.

Lake Wobegon, the little town that time forgot and the decades cannot improve.

The funniest line in English is 'Get it?' When you say that, everyone chortles.

A minister has to be able to read a clock. At noon, it's time to go home and turn up the pot roast and get the peas out of the freezer.

I'm not busy... a woman with three children under the age of 10 wouldn't think my schedule looked so busy.

I want to resume the life of a shy person.

A good newspaper is never nearly good enough but a lousy newspaper is a joy forever.

I've wanted to be a writer since I was a boy, though it seemed an unlikely outcome since I showed no real talent. But I persevered and eventually found my own row to hoe. Ignorance of other writers' work keeps me from discouragement and I am less well-read than the average bus driver.

The highlight of my childhood was making my brother laugh so hard that food came out of his nose.