If you take shortcuts, you get cut short..

I'm an angel in an earth suit..

Your heart is the face of your spirit, it holds everything you have been, you are, and what you are going to be..

You Know the Most Dangerous Thing In the Water? A Shark Fart..

Drinking your own blood is the paradigm of recycling..

I dont know where I come from but Im here now so deal with it..

Be nice to everyone and tell jokes..

I've been told by doctors and surgeons that I have the energy of ten men who have normal jobs..

My dark side, my shadow, my lower companion is now in the back room blowing up balloons for kids' parties..

A good way to lose weight is to put salt on your ass and go to a petting zoo. But stay away from goats because I've seen them fornicate with a mail b….

Five parts of my brain contain alien power, whatever I do or say cannot be denied on the intergalactic highway of existence..

Imagination is the hood ornament on your car of creativity..

Fear is the dark room where the Devil develops his negatives..

Relationship. R-E-L-A-T-I-O-N-S-H-I-P means this: Really exciting love affair turns into overwhelming nightmare. Sobriety hangs in peril..

Truth stands for Taking Real Understanding To Heart..

Theres a woman in Arkansas that's such a bad cook, that a swarm of flies got together and repaired her screen door..

Don't tell me what I'm not doing when I'm doing what you don't think I'm doing!.

There has got to be more to life than being a really, really, ridiculously good actor..

If you put that straight jacket on me, I am going to pull your endocrine system out of your body..

Pray for the best, prepare for the worst, and expect the unexpected..

Nothing changes like changes, because nothing changes but the changes..