If you build a better mousetrap, you will catch better mice..

When I go to a party, nobody says hello. But when I leave, everybody says goodbye..

College is a place to keep warm between high school and an early marriage..

Where I play, the greens always break toward the bar..

My uncle was the town drunk - and we lived in Chicago..

I've never been drunk, but often I've been overserved..

If inflation continues to soar, you're going to have to work like a dog just to live like one.

Never put off until tomorrow what you can do today -- for tomorrow's gonna be bad enough as it is..

Did you ever get the feeling that the world was a tuxedo and you were a pair of brown shoes?.