Launching a new TV show is probably one of the most difficult things that a writer can do..

I don't like that The Simpsons are spokespeople for Burger King and MasterCard and Butterfinger. In the first Gulf War, I was really upset that the S….

There's absolutely no way that something I do on my own is going to be seen in Malaysia..

I don't like the antagonism that most religions have for science, and freedom and, frankly, individuality. I do like the Dalai Lama..

I resisted parenthood for a long, long time. But having a daughter has given me a sense of hopefulness that I didn't have before..

To me, a mark of maturity is realizing that nobody runs the world. Fat cat politicians and secret conspiracies don't control our lives. In reality, t….

Clever is the eunuch version of funny..

Men often struggle with their attraction to other women. They don't quite understand why they have to be with the same woman forever..

You have to respect people's suffering. To deny that the world is unfair and painful for most of the people living in it would be false and judgmenta….

The only rule was that the stuff had to be funny and pretty short. To me, the quintessential Army Man joke was one of John Swartzwelder's: 'They can ….

I find that the creative side of my brain and the archival side of my brain don't work well together. When I've done my best work, I've been in a tra….

I have a deep suspicion of social institutions and tradition in general..

I have nothing but respect for the purist who won't work for the pharaoh. But I'm not that strong..

The people who seem to have a lock on power get swept out in a couple of years. So it's naïve to keep swinging at the same targets over and over. It ….

I guess I started to realize that being an agnostic was such a wimpy position..

If there's reason for hope, it lies in man's occasional binges of cooperation. To save our planet, we'll need that kind of heroic effort, in which al….

Experience as much as you can and absorb a lot of reality. Otherwise, your writing will have the force of a Wiffle ball..

Advertising is a conscienceless industry, populated by cowards and idiots, that warps and drains everyone. It eggs on the worst in all of us. If I co….

I want to be tolerant of other people's beliefs. I have wonderful friends who are religious, and I don't want to say that they're dimwits. They shoul….

I was brought up Catholic and, of course, I strayed and repudiated it. That's a painful thing to go through, because you have to look back and realiz….

I don't know what the universe is all about, but to me, nothing is gained by slapping a God sticker on it. It has never been a comfort to me to belie….