You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals..

THE British are brave people. They can face anything, except reality..

It was decided almost two hundred years ago that English should be the language spoken in the United States. It is not known, however, why this decis….

An Englishman, even if he is alone, forms an orderly queue of one..

Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles..

The poor Americans are so busy defending the rights of Hindus in Pakistan, Moslems in India, Jews in Palestine, Koreans in Japan, Italians in Yugosla….

The world still consists of two clearly divided groups: the English and the foreigners. One group consists of less than 50 million people; the other ….

Was he joking? Was he being sarcastic? Aggressive? Impertinent? Or just courteous? There was no telling from his impassive face. What a country, he t….

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game..

Travel' is the name of a modern disease which became rampant in themid-fifties and is still spreading. The disease - its scientific name is traveliti….

You must not refuse any additional cups of tea under the following circumstances: if it is hot; if it is cold; if you are tired; if anybody thinks th….

People on the Continent either tell you the truth or lie; in England they hardly ever lie, but they would not dream of telling you the truth..

A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat..

The English take everything with an exquisite sense of humour. They are only offended if you tell them that they have no sense of humour..

English humor resembles the Loch Ness Monster in that both are famous but there is a strong suspicion that neither exists..

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners..

The man who is not afraid of danger is not a hero, but a psychopath..

'I don't say a Zionist must be insane,' said President Weizmann, 'but it helps if he is.'.

In Moscow they do not pay much attention to the living but keep their cemeteries in a splendid state..

There are many non-intellectual countries; Australia is one of the few anti-intellectual ones..

The British are proud of their ability to create a muddle and then muddle through all difficulties. I must shake the British pride: muddle is not an ….