Explore Quotes by George Mikes

Continental people have a sex life; the English have hot-water bottles.

To be extravagant you need money. True. But you do not need your own money.

In England only uneducated people show off their knowledge; nobody quotes Latin or Greek authors in the course of conversation, unless he has never read them.

Many Continentals think life is a game; the English think cricket is a game.

The world still consists of two clearly divided groups: the English and the foreigners. One group consists of less than 50 million people; the other of 3,950 million. The latter group does not really count.

On the Continent people have good food; in England people have good table manners.

The trouble with tea is that originally it was quite a good drink. So a group of the most eminent British scientists put their heads together and made complicated biological experiments to find a way of spoiling it. To the eternal glory of British science, their labour bore fruit.

You can keep a dog: but it is the cat who keeps people, because cats find humans useful domestic animals.

A dog will flatter you but you have to flatter the cat.

I have often thought that the aim of port is to give you a good and durable hangover, so that during the next day you should be reminded of the splendid occasion the night before.

Humility is one of the most repulsive virtues, nearly always false.