Love is the delusion that one woman differs from another..

To denounce moralizing out of hand is to pronounce a moral judgment..

The most curious social convention of the great age in which we live is the one to the effect that religious opinions should be respected. Its evil e….

I go on working for the same reason that a hen goes on laying eggs..

A poet more than thirty years old is simply an overgrown child..

Democracy is also a form of worship. It is the worship of Jackals by Jackasses..

God is a Republican, and Santa Claus is a Democrat..

The liberation of the human mind has never been furthered by dunderheads; it has been furthered by gay fellows who heaved dead cats into sanctuaries ….

Whenever "A" attempts by law to impose his moral standards upon "B," "A" is most likely a scoundrel..

Religion is a conceited effort to deny the most obvious realities..

[A formula for answering controversial letters -- without even reading the letters:] Dear Sir (or Madame): You may be right..

Some time ago a publisher told me that there are four kinds of books that seldom, if ever, lose money in the United States--first,murder stories; sec….

By what route do otherwise sane men come to believe such palpable nonsense? How is it possible for a human brain to be divided into two insulated hal….

When I hear a man applauded by the mob I always feel a pang of pity for him. All he has to do to be hissed is to live long enough..

Hope: A pathological belief in the occurrence of the impossible..

One of the laudable by-products of the Freudian quackery is the discovery that lying, in most cases, is involuntary and inevitable--that the liar can….

A man loses his sense of direction after four drinks; a woman loses hers after four kisses..

Nothing can come out of an artist that is not in the man..

The plain people, hereafter as in the past, will continue to make their own language, and the best that grammarians can do is to follow after it, hal….

A man who is an agnostic by inheritance, so that he doesn't remember any time that he wasn't, has almost no hatred for the religious..

It reminds me of a string of wet sponges; it reminds me of tattered washing on the line; it reminds me of stale bean soup, of college yells, of dogs ….