You don't go home and talk about the great tennis courts that you played, but you do talk about the golf courses you played..

Just because I didn't do what you told me, doesn't mean I wasn't listening to you!.

Dennis to friend: No use crying, Joey. There aren't any grownups around..

Anyone in the humor business isn't thinking clearly if he doesn't surround himself with idea people. Otherwise, you settle for mediocrity - or you bu….

Flattery is like chewing gum. Enjoy it but don't swallow it..

No more turkey, but I'd like some more of the bread it ate..

Meow is like aloha - it can mean anything..