I like showing different types of comedy - showing that I could tell a story, or showing that I could do a one-liner, showing I could do stuff about ….

I'm not like a super duper sneaker head. I got a couple pairs, but I'm not a "stand in line for sneakers" type of dude..

I didn't audition for 'SNL.' I sent in a tape to 'SNL' the year before I started writing there, but I got the job there through doing stand-up on Fal….

I think right now there's more TV shows than ever. You've got network, you've got cable, you've got Netflix, you've got Hulu, even Amazon is putting ….

I don't believe in cancer walks. Well, I believe in them because they exist but I'd rather just give money straight up and save my Saturday afternoon….

'SNL' is the first real job I've held for more than a month and a half..

I love stand-up. I look at it as a way to always stay productive. I couldn't imagine only being an actor or a writer. Because what the hell do I do w….

My nephew's always crying. I'm like, 'Dude, why are you crying? Your life is great. All you do is eat apple sauce and take dumps. That's your day..

I feel like comedy is doing well right now because there's so many avenues to be seen. Whether it's through the Internet with social media or web vid….

I'm a dumb guy. My point of view is limited..

I have weird aspirations. Like, I really want to kick a pigeon..

We'll keep you in our thoughts With the other bullshit in your heads? No, keep me out of your thoughts, because I hear some of the stuff you talk abo….

There have been times I've been out, and my phone battery is at nine percent, and I was like, 'Time to go home.'.

I don't like when people say, 'I'll pray for you. I'm going to pray for you. Praying for you.' You're going to pray for me? So you're going to sit at….

I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant...because I believe in myself..

I want to just at least make it weird for you to watch Cosby Show reruns..

Acting is fun; it's easier than writing, and if you get on a [TV] show, it draws people to your stand-up. That's ultimately what I'd like to do..

I smoke occasionally, but it's not a part of my routine. I mean, I don't need it..

I'd like to get more bit-acting roles. I don't know if my talent would allow for a long dialogue, but I could definitely knock out three lines..

There's a lot of dudes in my neighborhood that have handlebar mustaches. Which is cool if you want to have a handlebar mustache but don't try to have….

Social media is interesting. It helps me connect with fans. It's immediate. It's a big part of my touring business - getting the word out via Twitter….