A diet is a plan, generally hopeless, for reducing your weight, which tests your will power but does little for your waistline..

A radical thinks two and two makes five. A liberal is more conservative. he knows two and two make four, but he's unhappy about it..

Some are bent with toil, and some get crooked trying to avoid it..

Inexperience is what makes a young man do what an older man says is impossible..

If you would like to live in a community in which you may have pride, then dedicate yourself in a spirit of humility and your responsibilities in tha….

There is no cure for laziness but a large family helps..

You never have to know all the answers because you won't be asked all the questions..

The best way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once..

If you are ignorant, you certainly can get into some interesting arguments..

A banker is a person who is willing to make you a loan if you present sufficient evidence to show you don't need it..

It's strange how few of the world's great problems are solved by people who remember their algebra..

When better business decisions are made, economists won't make them..

Ignorance is a voluntary condition..

A city is a large community where people are lonesome together..

A well-balanced person is one who finds both sides of an issue laughable..

There's nothing like the first horseback ride to make a person feel better off..

We have come to world leadership because our people have had the opportunity to develop this nation under a government and a Constitution that gave t….

There is nothing that makes a man more self-satisfied than a poor memory..

Old gardeners never die. They just spade away and then throw in the trowel..

A visitor from Mars could easily pick out the civilized nations. They have the best implements of war..

There is a time when we must firmly choose the course we will follow, or the relentless drift of events will make the decision for us..