You never count your chickens before they hatch. I used to keep parakeets and I never counted every egg thinking I would get all eight birds. You jus….

I feel like I've been on EastEnders all my life and now I'm playing King Lear..

Roy Keane's like a shark. He has those eyes. You don't know if he is going to buy you a drink or eat you..

There was a spell in the second half when I took my heart off my sleeve and put it in my mouth..

He's going to be what?! Oh for God's sake. Sir David Beckham? You're having a laugh. He's just a good footballer with a famous bird..

If I fell into a barrel of boobs, I'd come out sucking my thumb.

My old trainer used to tell us not to blast, but to caress the ball whenever we took possession. If the ball were a woman... she would be spending al….

Every dog has its day - and today is woof day! Today I just want to bark..

Managing a league club is like making love to a mermaid... you should always be aiming for a top half finish.

It was lucky that the linesman wasn't stood in front of me as I would have poked him with a stick to make sure he was awake..

I watched Arsenal in the Champions League the other week playing some of the best football I've ever seen and yet they couldn't have scored in a brot….

Paul Furlong is my vintage Rolls Royce and he cost me nothing. We polish him, look after him, and I have him fine tuned by my mechanics. We take good….

I might be in a bit of a Skoda garage rather than a Mercedes garage, but I am telling you some old bangers don't half polish up great..

I don’t see the problem with footballers taking their shirts off after scoring a goal? They enjoy it and the young ladies enjoy it too. I suppose tha….

I've got four women in my house - my wife and my three daughters - and I tell you what, it's pretty scary. I keep my head down and if we're out shopp….

I couldn't be more chuffed if I were a badger at the start of the mating season!.

I am more than happy at Blackpool and I am afraid the chairman will need a hell of a tub of cream to get rid of me - I'm like a bad rash and not easi….

I feel like a steaming cow-pat - or a car that's clocked up 400,000 miles in one journey..

I love Blackpool. We're very similar. We both look better in the dark..

Sometimes when you aim for the stars, you hit the moon..

Sepp Blatter and all of them lot Mr Platini I know he was a good player but he aint very good at what he does, I don’t think. I think he’s useless yo….