A woman may have a witty tongue or a stinging pen but she will never laugh at her own individual shortcomings..

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in..

You couldn't tell if she was dressed for an opera or an operation..

Of all American cities of whatever size the most friendly on preliminary inspection, and on further acquaintance the most likable. The happiest-heart….

Men are vain; but they won't mind women working so long as they get smaller wages for the same job..

You had to hate the Colonel a whole lot to keep from loving him..

Reelfoot is, and has always been, a lake of mystery.In places it is bottomless. Other places the skeletons of the cypress-trees that went down when t….

I've just learned about his illness. Let's hope it's nothing trivial..

If a woman likes another woman, she's cordial. If she doesn't like her, she's very cordial..

Until you go to Kentucky and with your own eyes behold the Derby, you ain't never been nowhere and you ain't seen nothin'!.

Middle age: when you begin to exchange your emotions for symptoms..

Humor is merely tragedy standing on its head with its pants torn..

An epitaph is a belated advertisement for a line of goods that have been permanently discontinued..

If I wanted to go crazy I would do it in Washington because it would not be noticed.

To be born in Kentucky is a heritage; to brag about it is a habit; to appreciate it is a virtue..

Golf - a young man's vice and an old man's penance..

If writers were good businessmen, they'd have too much sense to be writers..

As I understand it, sport is hard work for which you do not get paid..