Thin people are beautiful, but fat people are adorable..

I always knew what I was doing..

Our dreams are firsthand creations, rather than residues of waking life. We have the capacity for infinite creativity; at least while dreaming, we pa….

I'm no alcoholic. I'm a drunkard. There's a difference. A drunkard doesn't like to go to meetings..

Does God have a sense of humor? He must have if He created us..

I only made $200 a week and I had to buy my own bullets..

Sometimes the feeling that life is great just swells up inside you and fills you with joy..

Obviously a deer on the fairway has seen you tee off before and knows that the safest place to be when you play is right down the middle..

The Miami Beach audience is the greatest audience in the world!.

Drinking removes warts and pimples. Not from me. But from those I look at..

I have a 'Play The Melody' philosophy. It means don't over arrange, don't make life difficult. Just play the melody-and do it the simplest way possib….

I didn't have things as a child, and I was determined to get them..

The worst thing you can do with money is save it..

The only thing better than one of my songs is one of my songs with a glass of scotch..

A lot of people say, 'Well, I like a challenge. 'I don`t like challenges. Life is tough enough without any challenges..

Some drink to forget, some drink to remember-me, I drink to get bagged..

A man must defend his home, his wife, his children, and his martini..

I have no use for humility. I am a fellow with an exceptional talent..

One of these days... One of these days... Pow! Right in the kisser!.

Modesty in an actor is as fake as passion in a call girl..

Most wives think of their husbands as bumbling braggarts with whom they happen to be in love..