...Her parents were going to a conference for the weekend. The conference was called "Lawyers are Lovely, Great and Superb: so Why Does Everyone Thin….

I saw your name in lights last night. It's the middle of the night, and I can't sleep, thinking all my trumpeting thoughts, and I get out of bed, ope….

Brookfield High School. How may I direct your call? No, sir, this is not a waste- disposal unit, I'm afraid you have the wrong number..

I was just peeling some potatoes for dinner and they all looked like crisp white potatoes until I cut them in half. Every single one had a rotten, gr….

The Irish people didn't get on that well with each other either. They hated the Catholics, was the main issue, as I see. You can't blame them for tha….

And she looks at me with her eyes open wide and a face that says: Oh my God, I'm muckin' around in my sexy Jesus-boots, in my crazy dreamworld, and I….

Dear Complete and Utter Stranger, The first thing that I have to say is that I hate oatmeal. I really hate it. And you know what? If you like oatmeal….

What does it mean?" Emily said, in a low, panicked voice: "What does it mean if a rainbow comes before rain?.

and if we can change things that have already happened if those planes can fly in uneasy formation if that splinter moon can blow away the shadows th….

My father, I never knew, except for this one time when he threw a ball and told me to go fetch it. "Dad," I said. "Am I a dog?" "Lydia," he said. "I ….

P.P.S. AND YOU CAN TALK. "Just say the word." JUST SAY THE WORD? What kind of expression is that? WHAT WORD WOULD YOU LIKE ME TO SAY ANYWAY? MORON? L….

I've been sniffing out the guys in my English class (to the extent that this is possible without getting my throat cut), but they smell the same way ….

I love her bare legs from a distance. When she's standing by a pool. When she's facing the water, thinking. Her legs are white as watermelon rind, ve….

Are you sure you want me to go after Christina? Lately I've kind of thought I might just give up on that. Plus, didn't you and I need to gaze into ea….

Emily said ... Well, I read that it's important to sleep. While you sleep, the hippopotamus in your brain replays things that happend during the day,….

It's a lot easier to be crazy or mad than to just get on with living..

I'm screwed up, mixed up, messed around, dive-bombing, crashing and burning..

I hope you feel better today. Please ring me at work if you are dead..

I am a student of love..

Her skin is pale as watermelon sucked free of its juices..

Well, first you have to be very, very funny. I have realized that it is essential for a boy to be funny. Otherwise, what is the point in a boy?.