To think, we have the garment industry instead of nature to thank for the zipper concept when it would have come in so handy for childbirth..

Infinity: Time on an ego trip..

I even worry about reflective flea collars. Oh, sure, drivers can see them glow in the dark, but so can the fleas..

My mom says I have to be more positive, and I say life has to be more positive too or it's just not going to work..

One thing I have no worry about is whether God exists. But it has occurred to me that God has Alzheimer's and has forgotten we exist..

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent..

I made some studies, and reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. I can take it in small doses, but as a lifestyle, I f….

Sex is such a personal thing - why do we insist on sharing it with another person?.

If olive oil comes from olives, then where does baby oil come from?.

When I first came into this world, Elvis was already fat..

What you try to bury just ends up burying you..

Like what's the point being a health nut by day if you're a coke head at night..

I bet the worst part about dying is the part where your whole life passes before you..

Never underestimate the power of your actions. With one small gesture you can change a person's life. For better or worse. God puts us all in each ot….

Unless you are at a picnic, life is no picnic..

Nothing makes you realize you don't know what you want more than getting what you want..

You don't know what it's like! Hyperactive twins! When they turned three, my doctor prescribed Ritalin -- I wouldn't dream of giving a drug to my chi….

When you're dancing the mystical dance of the molecules, you're not the one who's leading..

I may not be great at geometry but I know one theorum. The longest distance between two points is you and your parents..

Reality is just a collective hunch..

What is reality anyway! It's nothing but a collective hunch..